POEM TO THE EDITOR: Life

You have reached the office of.
Please hang up and dial again
If you know your parties number
Forget it.
If your are having a medical emergency
Dial one for dermatology
If you are dialing from a touch tone phone,
Your call may be monitored.
Please listen to the following options,
If all else fails.
If you want a massage
An operator will help you
All lines are busy at the present time.
Your call is important to us
If your wish to leave a message
Please spit on the phone.
I am sorry, I will not be in the office
This month.
I am traveling with the governor.
Please stay on the line.
You have reached the home of
John; Cindy has moved out.
When you hear the tone,
hang up.
Your call in no longer important to us
Don’t call again.
All our personnel are busy at the present time.
The approximate waiting time is one hour.
I am sorry that number is no longer in service,
The line is busy,
But by pressing one, you can speak with a fool.
To speak with nobody, press two.
By pressing the pound sign, you may speak with yourself.
When you are done, please hang up. Goodbye.


CHARLES HUDSON
Cooperstown